Weaning advice from a Naturopath, doula and mother of three – my professional and personal experience/s, thoughts and guidance
Photography by Slow Moments on Film
Why wean?
What are the most common reasons for weaning? A perceived insufficient milk supply and having to return to work. The second is self-explanatory – I wish there was more maternal paid leave so mothers could be at home with their babies for longer but that is a discussion for another day. Let’s unpack the first reason with holistic IBCLC Kerrie Adams. I can’t tell you how many times in my professional experience and wider social circle new mothers have been told they have an insufficient milk supply. Why are we constantly setting up new mothers to feel like they’ve failed?Kerrie says as breastfeeding progresses, breasts don’t always have to feel ‘very full’ and we should be looking at the baby and how they are behaving after feeds, how they are gaining weight and not on your breast size or how much milk you can pump. As always be guided by your intuition as a mother and if you create opportunities for optimal demand (feeding on demand and not to schedules), there should be a sufficient supply (unless medical or mechanical issues evident). If you are reading this and considering weaning due to a perceived insufficient milk supply, I really recommend booking in with a holistic IBCLC like Kerrie Adams, feel free to reach out for a list of IBCLC’s I recommend. When should you wean?
The World Health Organisation recommends continued breastfeeding until at least 2 years old - ‘The first 2 years of a child’s life are particularly important, as optimal nutrition during this period lowers morbidity and mortality, reduces the risk of chronic disease, and fosters better development overall.’ Many ancient civilisations breastfed for extended periods (and had the support and means to do so). The duration of breastfeeding only became shorter in recent years in the Western societies, due to ‘the inappropriate early introduction of mixed feedings.’ The American Paediatric Society founders recommended that weaning begin at around nine to 12 months of age and with that recommendation came a rise in infant mortality (Weaning from the Breast, 2004). The statistics tell us less than half (43.0%) of babies are still receiving breast milk at one year of age (Australian Bureau of Statistics, 2022). “The simple answer is weaning is such a personalised choice for the mother and the baby and the timing is right for you both, when it’s right for you both”
My weaning journey/s
I set a goal of breastfeeding my babies until they are two in accordance with the WHO recommendations and my own intuitive guidance. My journey with weaning has always begun with a gentle night weaning around 20 months of age and then a very slow phase out of day feeds until two. I intentionally draw out the process for the emotional regulation (of mum and bub), the hormonal regulation and to work with a gradual lowering of milk supply to decrease the chances of engorgement. As a co-sleeping family, I liked some aspects of the Dr Gordon night weaning method. Although we adapted it to suit our own family needs. For example, I will always respond to my babies / toddlers with physical comfort through the night and to fall to sleep. I don't practice the put to sleep awake thing. I still lay with my 8 year old son to fall asleep each night and if he needs a cuddle i’m there at any time... To put it simply, we gently go from breastfeeding to sleep and through the night, to cuddling to sleep until the sun comes up. This is undeniably the hardest part of weaning, when you are so used to rolling over and offering a feed through the night without waking up properly to then dealing with the big feelings of our little ones that come with a disruption to the normal expectations of your nightly routine is hard hard hard. It takes persistence and the understanding that the next few weeks of sleep are going to be disrupted and lots of nervous system support is needed for both the mother and the baby/toddler.The last month prior to my children’s 2nd birthday, I lower feeds gradually over the weeks. By this stage of breastfeeding my boys were only feeding 2-4 times per day so this wasn’t a huge challenge. I don’t do any of the common tricks – weaning weekends away / band aids on the nipples. I really simply say no and hold space for whatever is to follow. It’s really important to me to be an anchor in those big feelings and to make sure they know I’m understanding how huge it is for them and to support them through it. I want them to know I will always be here to support them when challenges come. A weaning ceremony
I really love the idea of a ‘weaning ceremony’, my best friend Tennille of VAYU Ayurveda did with her daughter to honour the end of their breastfeeding journey. Tennille mentioned her daughter struggled with the gradual drawn out weaning method and needed to facilitate the end of breastfeeding. They both reflected on their favourite times breastfeeding together in ceremony, had a final feed and sad goodbye. Her daughter was very understanding after this and didn’t ask for a feed again. Another beautiful way we can honour how huge this is for our children and ourselves.
Holding space for the big feelings
Holding space for the big feelings is a relentless, overstimulating and exhausting part of mothering and an evitable part of weaning. Our breastfeeds have nourished and comforted our children for a long time and it is perfectly ok for them to be really upset about parting ways with that. Listen and validate how upsetting that is for them. Hold space for the big tantrums that will come when we say no. We can honour our need to wean and hold space for how big and emotional that is for our babies at the same time. Sit with it all. Let them know it’s hard for you too.
Weaning for the Mother
As a mother weaning can feel like a spectrum of emotions from excitement for the space and potential to the grief for the passing of a tender time and the guilt of ending it. This is why I formulated our Weaning Remedy. To honour and hold space for the big transition this is for the mother. It’s not something we anticipate being huge until we are going through the motions of it. I’ve formulated the remedy for the mother feeling overwhelmed with the task at hand, an inability to cope and hold space for the relentless emotions, guilt, remorse and general inadequacy and feeling not quite right in their body. The remedy brings calm, confident courage and the ability to cope in this big time. It also can bring newfound ways to create bonding with your children. It’s basically the nervous system support desperately needed in a drop size bottle. If you’d like to try the weaning remedy please use discount code ‘WEANING’.
Hormonally for the mother, prolactin (our milk making hormone) and oxytocin (the love hormone you know well from birth) lowers as you wean. These are the hormones responsible for creating breastmilk but also for feelings of calm and love - so mood and general wellbeing can fluctuate in this time. Feeling low and emotional is a perfectly normal physiological reaction to weaning your baby but that doesn’t mean it is easy. I always recommend booking in with a Naturopath during this time to tend to the hormonal fluctuation that comes with weaning and support symptoms that could arise such as acne, depression, anxiety, depression, mum rage and/ or weight gain. For information on how to book a consult with me please see here.
Weaning while pregnant
I can’t recommend enough giving your body time to restore and be nourished in between weaning and falling pregnant but that is not always possible for various reasons! If you find yourself weaning while pregnant chances are the hormonal urge to wean is driving the weaning. For me personally breastfeeding my almost two-year-old at 20 weeks pregnant - I had quite severe aversion every time I fed. It felt like my whole body rejected it and the body knows - as I was very depleted. It adds a whole layer of challenges to an already challenging time. It's so important here to be well nourished, not only are you looking after yourself, you are feeding not one but two babies now. Maternal depletion is a very common theme here and I can’t emphasise enough how nurturing having someone on your health team tending to you in this time would be.
Your Weaning apothecary (for the home prescriber)
Weaning tea
Sage and Peppermint have been used traditionally to treat ‘excessive perspiration’ and to ease and repress lactation (lower your milk supply). Lemon balm is a beautiful and highly indicated nervous system support for this tender time. To make mix,1/3 cup of dried Sage ¾ cup of dried Peppermint ½ cup of Lemon Balm Dosage:2 x teaspoons of dried herbs infused in hot water for a minimum of 20-30min. Start with one cup per day and slowly increment to 4 x cups daily. Please be mindful, sage is contraindicated in pregnancy. For a more therapeutic dose, consider reaching out to your local Naturopath for a herbal tincture of the above herbs. 
Homeopathics
As written by the National Center for Homeopathy Lac caninum: use a 30C potency.
Pulsatilla: use a 30C potency.
Ricinus communis: Use a 30C potency (Make sure to use in the right potency because different potencies of Ricinus exert a different action – 6C improves milk secretion while 30C reduces milk supply and is used for weaning). References
Australian Bureau of Statistics. (2022). Breastfeeding. ABS. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/health-conditions-and-risks/breastfeeding/latest-release.
Weaning from the breast. (2004). Paediatrics & child health, 9(4), 249–263. https://doi.org/10.1093/pch/9.4.249